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Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Change



Recently, I met a friend of mine in one of our family functions. He was looking happy, a smile on his face, greeting and talking to every one jovially; he was well dressed and radiating with joy. He was full of life…I saw a tremendous change in him. The same person, a few years back, was a much disturbed man because of marital discord and divorce proceedings; he went through a horrible time …..He had to fight two years of court case and harassment by in-laws to unsettle him and his parents. He   was completely beaten down to the ground, lost interest in life. He used to dress shabbily, stopped socializing because of the stigma. After a series of setbacks, he fought bravely and got over his past and now settled in the US happily……. Breeze of change ……
 Mohammed Ali, a Heavyweight boxer, a social activist, a philanthropist and the most celebrated sports person of the 20th century, won a lot of awards and accolades, he is known for power, tenacity and strength. He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a degenerative neurological condition; during his last days he was not able to lift a glass of water.  What an unfortunate change, the person known for his qualities had just died opposite of it.
Change is an inevitable part of life and we all go through the phase, it may be from small change (like….change in interior of house, buying new dress) to the most significant (new Job, Promotion, Marriage ….and getting afflicted with disease). Some are imposed on us, some are caused by, and few are transformative and mundane.
Physically, mentally and emotionally we all go through change. Isn’t it true that nothing is permanent in life, whether its pain or pleasure, success or failure, win or lose, everything is subject to change and it’s transitory. Change is the only constant in life and everything else is transitory.
When we talk about change, often we relate to technology change and impact on the Individual and the society at large.
Globalization is the starting point of the massive change that we are witnessing today. It integrated the world and the business expanded globally.  Many multinationals started operating out of India and enabled technology transfer. The Internet has opened a whole new world of information with the press of a button. Life has become so convenient (Changed) that you can do all transactions  with mobile or laptop, like... you can book a train or Air ticket, order food from your  favorite hotel, and pay the bills...etc
Technology has brought massive and welcome change to the healthcare industry, advanced diagnostic equipment enabled precision and fast diagnosis. Patients have access to best diagnostic tools and treatments. Minimal-invasive treatment reduces pain and enables quick healing. Mobile apps and digitization of records has made life simple and easy.
Advanced technology has changed the way transportation, automotive, aerospace, defense, space technology works.
Artificial intelligence, machine learning and IOT are the game changers.
The list endless and we can go on writing about how technology is changing society and the individual.  While technology is changing at the blink of an eye, in the midst of rapid change, how are we equipping ourselves to adapt to the changing scenario. Do we have the right mindset to accept, adapt and move forward?
"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."  - George Bernard Shaw
We are well informed about the need for change and are also aware of the importance and the host of positivity it presents. Somehow, with all the necessary knowledge, we are reluctant to embrace and accept the change.
Different people react differently based on the situation, personality type and motivating factor. Some guys happily accept the change and learn new things. But for many it is threatening and unsettling. 
 The question lingers in our mind, why we fail to embrace wholeheartedly when change comes in our life, be it professional, personal or in any sphere of activities.
Dr.Spencer Johnson’s light-hearted parable about change “Who moved my cheese”  It elaborates the physical and emotional journeys of four characters-Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw, in search of cheese, they find, lose and rediscover in the maze. Highly acclaimed book and he gives very good insights and phases one goes through in the process of change anticipate, approach, adapt & manage change.


Process of transformation


We resist change due to the following reasons
  1. Lack of confidence
  2. Fear of unknown
  3. Lethargy
  4. Indifference

  1. Lack of self-confidence: 60 % to 70% don’t make the decision due to lack of self confidence and they worry about failure. This lack of self-confidence is not genetic, it is triggered due to some incidence in your life or unconsciously you have fallen into the pit without being aware of it.

Ex: A boy was very brilliant in academics in his school and college days and was very confident. When he joined a job, his boss once remarked in front of everyone that “You are not as smart as you think you are” this triggered the reaction and he lost
Self-confidence

You can enhance self-confidence by not relying on others' endorsement, but by working on your personality.  Be confident in what you do. Couple of points below, will help you enhance self-confidence. 

a.     Groom yourself well
b.    Develop good habit
c.     Develop skill and knowledge
d.    Be in the company of positive people
e.     Think positive about yourself

2. Fear of unknown: Fear of unknown stops us from accepting the change, mind plays the trick, it deters us from taking action by feeding negative outcomes. You will have to break the wall of unknown fear and come out on the other side. 
 You can manage the fear of the unknown by adopting simple steps below.
a.     Understanding: Thorough understanding of the subject matter/ situation is the best way to deal with fear of the unknown, you get to the root cause, and if you have a deeper understanding of the situation, you will be better equipped to deal with fear.

b.    To be in the present: Better way to deal with fear of unknown is to be in the       present and do  reality check. Reality check will help you dispel misunderstanding of the situation and bring clarity.

2.     Lethargy: By definition it is lack of energy and enthusiasm. The worst enemy of progress is lethargy. People have lost precious things because of lethargy. It is essential to identify reason for lethargy and take corrective action.
              
                 
a)     Develop passion
b)    Connect socially
c)     Follow proper diet, eat nutrient-rich food
d)    Follow sleep hygiene
  
4) Indifference:  Lack of interest and motivation in something you do is the major constraint to accept the change 
Develop passion and understand what drives you, enhance motivational level, you will come out of indifference.
a)     Do introspection
b)    Daily write your aspirations. You get clarity on what you want to do.
c)     Read motivational books to inspire you.
d)    Talk to your friends or mentor.

Change is possible, it takes lot of conviction and perseverance……….be optimistic and you will ……


Friday, March 6, 2020

FEAR……Scare it out of your mind.



 FEAR……Scare it out of your mind.





 Deer run faster than its predators, but it gets caught easily and killed. The Deer is slim and agile, has good energy, despite having strong qualities, it fails to give a slip to the predator and ultimately  succumbs ……....the reason is Fear….the deer is paralyzed by fear gives up and become easy prey.

It is true with all of us, when we see an impending danger we get scared and succumb to the situation.

Fear is so powerful and it swamped in all walks of our life. Some fears are healthy and it helps us to grow. Some are irrational, and it hinders the growth.

Some students who are brilliant and good at studies, they fail to score good marks; it’s because of fear of examination. They tend to forget the subject and mind goes blank, fear over powers their ability.

Some people are scared of flying, a little turbulent in the flight will send the blood pressure shooting high and they get panic attacks.

When you are due for a presentation in the office or  address a gathering,  you become  nervous and get scared of the crowd, you  feel  “Butterflies in the stomach”  and  you pace back and forth , tongue- tied, you cannot recollect the topic……..you fail……… fear takes over you.

Some guys don’t venture or  try new things, be it professional or personal, because of fear of unknown; this may be due to past experience or mental imagination. They fear failure and adaptation and are worried about moving out of comfort zone.

We can continue with the list of fears and how it will affect one’s life…….However,  on the contrary, there are some who thrive on fears, they are known as adrenaline junkies…  ex:  guys who participate in dangerous sports activities, like bungee jumping, sky diving, surfing, river rafting and many more, they like to challenge the fear and conquer it.

 Fears are an unavoidable facet of our life’s experience. It is a natural emotion and survival mechanism. When we confront a perceived threat, our bodies respond in specific ways. Physical reaction is “Fight or Flight”, body prepares either to run or combat.

Constantly being in the state of fear will affect physically and psychologically, it creates anxiety disorders, and other health related issues. This hinders growth and the performance.

Fear restricts our lives and imprisons us. The study reveals that, we experience two types of fear, perceived and the real one. Perceived fears are our mental imaginations and also in anticipation of the future events, it may or may not happen. Real threats, on the other hand, are potentially dangerous, more often than not, involves physical harm.

It is estimated that 80% of our fears are the perceived one, isn’t it a good revelation!!.  Now let’s resolve to overcome the challenge.



  
Below I have put down my thoughts on how to overcome the monster called fear.

 Face the fear:  Facing the fear can help you realize situation is not as bad as you imagined. It helps in building confidence & shows your strength to handle the situation on your own.

Swami Vivekananda, narrates a story of monkey, a few monkey ganged up and scaring tourists by blocking the way, they used to snatch food and snacks. One day they attacked Swami Vivekananda, he thought of running back, but saw more monkeys started chasing him, screaming and making scary noises. He decides to face the monkey, he turned back and stared at them fearlessly and monkeys vanished in no time.

Moral: If you face your fear instead of running away from them, they will run away like monkeys.

      Focus on breathing:  Breathing is most essential of all practices, it is “Prana Vayu”. Focusing on deep breathing helps you relaxing and reducing the anxiety. When the pang of anxiety attacks, focus on breathing and take couple of deep breaths, it brings down the jitter and calms the mind.

Learn different techniques of Pranayama (one of the 8 limbs of Patanjali Yoga Sutra) it gives great relief and you calm down instantly.


  Take one at a time: Do not try to tackle all your fears at a time, just pick one and work on it.
Starting small can help build confidence in yourself, as you overcome each new challenge.

Identify false beliefs: All fears are learned and nobody is born with fears. Identifying and rationalizing the beliefs that you have picked up during the course of journey, brings a great relief, It is like “the right diagnosis is half cure”, Identify and drop those irrational fears.

      Hypnotherapy:  When you are experiencing overwhelming fear or anxiety, please consider working with a therapist. Hypnotherapy is very effective, you can program   positive   thoughts in to your mind, erasing or eliminating negative thoughts and beliefs. This is very effective and I have seen many people getting cured and have come out of chronic suffering.

Do not let the fear to rule your life, take corrective action.

There are many techniques available; you can adopt the one which suits you most and combat anxiety and fear. In this write up, I have put down few points basing on my experience as a Hypnotherapist. People have got relief and leading happy life.