Gratitude is an attitude……

   

Oh, we all know this…and we have been reading in books and been told umpteen number of times by parents, teachers, mentors.etc.. You say…...YES ….we have done it several times. More often than not, it slips out of our mind and we forget to express, as this attitude is not etched in our mind. 

My humble endeavor is to show how gratitude affects you physically, mentally  and brings inner peace, strengthens relationships, improves health and lets you live in abundance, and overall helps you progress  towards a positive life.

What is Gratitude? …. Gratitude is expressing thankfulness and acknowledging everything you receive. It is such a small gesture but will have a huge impact on your wellbeing.

Let me narrate a story I read recently.  A poor boy from a small village lost his way, he was hungry and started looking for food.  The boy was very shy to ask for food from strangers, but he couldn't endure his hunger for long…...somehow he managed to ask but none gave him……..he saw a small house and  knocked on the door…a young lady came out and looked at him, boy was shy to ask for food………... so he requested  for glass of water……. she went inside and got him a big glass of milk……...the boy was surprised on seeing milk and said, madam, I only asked for a glass of water………. she smiled at him and told……. you look hungry have this glass of milk……..later you can go home and have food……….. boy drank milk, thanked her and left the place …...time elapsed...after many years the lady  was afflicted with a rare disease and she was referred to a multi-speciality hospital in a  neighbouring city. She was diagnosed with a rare disease and the hospital called a specialist neurosurgeon to handle the case. The doctor visited the hospital and saw the lady in pathetic condition and instantly recognized her. He immediately operated on her and took care of her very nicely. While she recovered, the hospital staff sent a bill to the neurosurgeon for approval. (The bill amount was huge, the lady could not have paid in her lifetime, it worried her). The doctor asked not to send the bill to the lady, instead debit it to his account. Next day morning while she was about to be discharged the doctor sends a bouquet of flowers with a note saying….. The amount was paid in full long back with a “glass of milk”….what a wonderful  way  to express gratitude, what a nice gesture , how heart touching!

India is  the world's largest democracy. We are blessed to be born in this country. We have freedom of speech and expression. Many people do not seem to understand the value of freedom, Instead of showing gratitude by being law abiding, they misuse and abuse the system, and endanger  the fabric of democracy for personal gain, …...so please show your gratitude by appreciating what you have, otherwise, you will repent later.

Gandhiji says nature has provided enough for everyone’s need, not  for everyone’s greed. If you give two hoots for the gift bestowed on us and misuse and loot the  natural resources, nature  knows how to balance. We all have seen  nature’s backlash, tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes….latest is a pandemic coronavirus leading to large scale destruction. Ultimately life comes to standstill.

We are all interdependent on each other. Each individual contributes in maintaining eco balance…just an example, food on your plate is the result of hard work of many people….they are farmers, packaging guys, transport, delivery people and many such  are involved. Similarly in other areas of life, many people are involved in making life click. Collective effort and coherence brings order and create balance…..So our culture says, before you partake in a meal….. thank those souls who have toiled incessantly through day and night to bring  food on your table and  comforts to your door. This is Samskara…...we should be thankful to all of them. This has a great spiritual significance.

Have the attitude of gratitude.  This will benefit your health manifold. A lot of studies have shown that people with a mindset of gratitude do better in life than others.

They say unless you lose what you have, you will not realize it’s worth. Just when you look around, you  realize you are bestowed with so many gifts in life, but still we are busy  counting what we lack  not what we have.

 You can cultivate the gratitude practice by

Journaling: The best way to express gratitude, start writing every night (before you go to bed) what you are grateful for, and what brought you joy and comfort. Notice the smallest incidences of the day however insignificant or trivial  it may be. Thank universe for the gift.

Every day when you wake up in the morning express to yourself what you are grateful for.

Mindfulness: leverage mindfulness and start noticing things and instances you are grateful for.

Speak out : Start speaking to your friends, Spouse , relatives and make it a habit to tell everyone one how grateful you are for all the things you received.

“If you concentrate on what you have, you will always have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough”…….by unknown

How to learn Effectively- 4 ways to authentic learning

Psychology of Effective learning

                          

Learning is a lifelong process, from cradle to grave we will be learning one thing or the other. In this intense competitive world, a lot of impetus is given to learning and it is essential to keep ourselves updated with latest knowledge, else redundancy will set in and you will be left behind the competition. Learning is an integral part of our life. The day one stops learning, he/she will drive the last nail on the coffin, that's how the world is progressing now.

Effective learning does not necessarily come through reading books, it can be acquired  by observing life and nature, learning through your own experiences (Life gives experience first and lessons later) This is experiential learning, could be further enriched by studying history and observing behavior. 

In this information era, we are inundated with information by social media, TV, newspaper blog, the Internet etc. We are drowned in confusion and lost in the information maze and we have forgotten the real essence of learning. Seldom do we realize what to focus on and what not to, and ultimately we end up accumulating garbage.

For academic interest, let’s briefly look at how learning happens. According to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) learning happens in four stages; these four stage model explains how we learn to move from, I don't know how to do it to effortlessly and skillfully do the work.

                        

a.   Unconscious incompetence: We don't know  that we don't know, we are not aware of our incompetence. Ex: we don't think certain things exist as we are unaware of them.

 Analogy of learning to drive car is very pertinent for all four stages of learning

Ex: as a child we think, just sit in car and take a ride, that’s all. We don’t know the driving skill required.

b. Conscious incompetence: We are aware of our incompetence and know that long learning curve ahead.

Ex: when you start driving, you realize, there is much more to it than  what you have thought of. There are so many different things to do and to learn many new behaviors.

c. Conscious competence: Having awareness of incompetencies, you have committed yourself and worked hard to learn and acquire new skills.

Ex: As you start practicing driving car you enter 3^rd stage of learning, but you are not fluent and smooth in driving car. And you are consciously aware of every areas of incompetency.

d. Unconscious competence: Perseverance and hard work to internalize the competency. This is where the magic happens and big transformation takes place. You are able to use your skill effortlessly and automatically, you're 'in a state of flow' it just oozes out without conscious focus.

It takes real hard work moving from conscious competence to unconscious incompetence.

Ok, let me not bore you with much theory, though this is useful for our future discussion.

Learning is a shift in behavior (modification of behavior as a result of learning from experience), meaning,  your behavior tends to change when you learn something new, otherwise it will remain as information only. ex: smoking is injurious to health…. even a doctor who smokes knows this but only as cerebral information. But when the understanding sinks into your bone that’s learning and you quit smoking, your behavior changes from smoker to non smoker. Getting up early in the morning and doing exercises has a lot of benefits…..we all know this mentally, but  how many will take the trouble of getting up early and start the work out? Only when knowledge sink in behavior changes

You must have passion to learn, only then you make the difference and shift in behavior happens. Ekalavya, a greatest archer, who was turned down by Dronacharya as a disciple, accepts mentally Dronacharya as guru and creates a statue of Dronacharya and starts practicing in front of it, with great zeal and perseverance. As a result he becomes one of the greatest archers. If you have the will and zeal to learn, in today's technology driven world there is an avalanche of information available, choose and focus on what you want to learn.  It's easy, unlike the era before the advancement of technology.

We resist new learning, It may be due to lack of confidence, lack of readiness to forgo prejudices, ego, myopic views etc…we can keep on listing reasons...but the major reason for not learning effectively is that we are not ready to unlearn things and go with a fresh mind. This is the major hindrance. This reminds me of a story of ZEN-cup of tea. A professor of a management school goes to meet Zen master to learn about Zen philosophy. They sit across the table, Zen master has ceremonious way of serving the tea, even after the cup is filled with tea, Zen master keeps pouring and tea starts overflowing. On seeing this the professor asked the Zen master  why he is still pouring when the cup is full and overflowing, Zen master retorts, "like this cup, you are full of opinions and prejudices, whatever I pour spills out, how can I show you Zen unless you empty your cup….

 Similarly, all of us have our cup full of opinions, prejudices and speculations. We need to empty the cup before we venture out to learn new things. We should be like children, open to learning with curiosity and rapt attention. Children are able to absorb to the extent of 95% of whatever has been taught to them.

How to empty the cup is the question, if new learning has to happen.

Over a period of time we all have developed patterns of thinking and action. We have landed in a comfort zone and remained there for long. So naturally it's difficult for us to embrace new ideas and concepts. We strongly believe there is no alternative to our ways. Challenging the existing patterns and accepting new paradigms will bring a shift in perspective and thereby effective learning takes place. 

Remove prejudices: Prejudices are a great impediment in the path of learning. You have strong opinions about something and you don't want to change them. Develop sincerity to recognize and remove your prejudices.  Go with a fresh mind; be open to new ways of learning.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Heal Yourself to Heal the World

Friends, we are all going through the worst crisis history has ever witnessed, the whole world is suffering, day by day the pandemic corona virus  spreading its tentacles, choking and killing thousands and thousands of people across globe, life has come to stand still, with no sign of abatement and there is no solution at sight. Humanity is in distress.

Economy is collapsing globally, many nations like the US , UK, Italy, and Iran have just kneeled down and lost hope ( they have put up a brave front and are still fighting the war ceaselessly). India with its mighty power and resolve to fight, putting its best effort to ward off the disease. We have two major challenges at hand, to stop virus spreading and revive the economic situation which is already reeling under pressure. If both continue unchecked for some time, we will land  up in a big crisis, we don't know what the future holds for us.

Well, you don't have to lose hope,  Mantra is “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”  nothing will last forever, there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the trail of destruction it leaves will take some time for us to reconstruct emotionally and economically, certainly we will bounce back, it's just a matter of time. 

When you look at it from a spiritual perspective, nature is doing a  balancing act and trying to change things radically. When a change happens at a fundamental level, things will move topsy turvy and you experience intense turbulence, the  boat rocks several times before it is anchored. We have no control on that, we can only hope and pray for things to get normal. 

In the midst of crisis, we are constantly living in fear of uncertainty and fear for loved ones. Psychological trauma, hardship one has to go through is unprecedented and there is an information overload by TV channels. Switch on any channel, you will be bombarded with pandemic news and added to that experts'  are not so expert, but  turn out weird speculations about the grim situation. All these things build up the stress and worries and ultimately it affects your health.

What we can do at this juncture is to wait patiently, never lose hope and pray. However, there is one more important thing we can do: to heal ourselves. As mentioned earlier, every day, every moment we are encountering stressful situations, it will affect  physical and mental health badly. We need to work on this aspect and keep ourselves healthy.

Healing is bodys’ way of repairing the damaged cells and restoring health from  diseases. We all have the natural healing process within our body, an auto healing mechanism, but at times we have to supplement and accelerate the healing process through certain sadhanas or techniques to overcome acute and chronic stress.

It is just not the body alone, mind is connected in the process, its Mind-Body connection. It means our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitude can affect our biological functions positively or negatively depending on the intensity of emotions you carry.

Process of self-healing involves the mind-body complex. Tune in to the needs of body and mind, work coherently. Mind is the battlefield, all problems start from there, mind harbours  fears, worries, doubts, criticism, anger, frustration and obsessive thoughts. So we need to take care of our mind.

Highlighted below are a few of my thoughts. Start practicing and you will see amazing results.

a.      When we know that we cannot do much about the situation, the first thing is to accept it as it is. This will calm our mind, and enables you to think better and plan future action.

b.   Just be in the present." here and now": do'n't get swayed by speculations of experts, never assume the future is bleak. We really do not know what awaits us tomorrow. Think positive and look for an opportunity. As saying goes " with every adversity there comes an opportunity". You may be spinned into higher possibilities in life, please be optimistic.

c.  Insulate yourself from all the negativity(negative people, news and thoughts....). This will have a positive effect on your health and thought process.

        

4. Listen to good music and read motivational books ...watch movies...music has power to reduce the stress and help you relax by releasing neurotransmitters. 

5. Focus on breathing, daily do simple pranayama, and meditation...at least keep aside 30 to 40 minutes.

6. Self-healing technique: keep one palm on your head and other on your naval portion, close your eyes and chant OM for 21 times and swap the hand and repeat OM for 21 times. This is a very effective healing method and it builds immunity and brings calmness to your mind.

7. One more effective healing method is: Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, pray for the cosmos to send the healing light. Visualize the light entering your body through Head ( Bramharandra). Take the light to every portion of the body and feel the healing effect and the energy. This method has immense benefits on your health.

8. Go for guided meditation ( a lot of stuff available on youtube) this helps you relax deeply, in this state body re-balances and accelerates the healing process.

9. Sleep and Diet: Sleep adequately and if you sleep less, it will weaken the body immune system. Pay attention to your food habits, healthy eating and nutrient-rich diet enhance the self-healing process.

There are many methods recommended for deep healing. If you practice and make it a daily routine, the above mentioned points, you will realize the benefits very soon. You can move to the next level of healing process in later stages.

Stay calm during the crisis, everything happens for a reason, it may not be revealed to us now. When we come out of this, we realize the purpose of the whole event.

Stay calm, Stay at home and Stay safe…...

Passion key to success

Passion key to success

Often we hear our teachers and lecturers saying “pursue your passion to be successful”, and anything you do in life without passion, you may not succeed and excel. The reason is very simple: passion drives us to put our heart and soul into what we do, and the outcome will be an amazing result.

History is replete with examples of passionate people who contributed immensely to science and technology, art, humanity and society at large, and reaching the pinnacle of success. One such example comes to mind is Steve Jobs, (it is cliché ) founder of Apple, his passion to create excellent products without any flaws is un-parallel. There were and are many such people who are passionate with what they do and continue to contribute and excel in their field of activity.

These guys have only one aim, to give the best and work with full zeal and enthu. They don’t need any external motivation and they are propelled by their own passion to contribute and excel in the chosen field. 

Whether you are considering starting a business or building a career, you need to have passion along with skills to succeed. You may have developed good competencies required for the job, without passion, success will remain a mirage.

Many are fortunate to have identified their passion early in life, but majority struggle to find passion and remain mediocre for the rest of life. We find a number of examples in corporate jobs. According to a survey 80% of the people are not happy with the job, and they are highly demotivated and  not engaged, job is dull and drab for them, they have no enthu to come to office, they drag their feet to work. The reason for not being able to pursue passion is the financial compulsions (in most of the cases), if they are able to navigate the financial hurdles and find a way to pursue the passion, they can excel. Companies run employee engagement programs, just to get the employees grounded and develop emotional connect, unfortunately they fail   because of wrong understanding and strict timelines and pressure to deliver, success rate is less than 10%

Passionate people are successful since the purpose of their life is driven by passion, they show immense interest in work and are resilient when faced with obstacles, they have positive outlook and are not worried about any kinds of rewards monetary or otherwise. They are able to overcome difficulty through problem solving skills and are highly analytical.

Different people have different passions, someone may be interested in sports, somebody in arts, music, research and development and many more…..

Have you found your passion? Or are you still struggling?

70% of the people don't find their passion for life, they struggle and keep complaining. Fortunate 15% find it early in life and they become achievers, 15% find it in the later stage of life. 

Why do 70% of people fail to recognize and follow passion? 

Popular misconception is, people think that passion is inherited or it just comes like that, but the  reality is: passion has to be developed and you have to work on it consciously, if you are not interested in what you are doing, go for new pursuits and see if your interest matches.

Recently read an article in Harvard business review, author makes an interesting and an insightful suggestions that “Focus on what you care for than what you love”, the subtle distinction is, when you focus on what you love, you enjoy working and it makes you happy, but, if you focus on what you care about, you align your values with passion and it will have a great impact on what you want as outcome.

Some guys stay in their comfort zone and they kind of “don't rock my boat”, and they languish in the same position for years and years and complain eternally and do not enjoy the work.

 Ask yourself, what would you do if you have sufficient money in the bank, something you always wanted to do, as a child may be you were interested in automobiles, or wanted to become singer...you search for an answer and you will get it.

Life will be dull and drab without a passion. You are the author of your life, do not settle for less, develop passion, it makes you do amazing things in life.

While pursuing passion, you may tumble down many times by failure and obstacle, don't lose heart, it's worth a try and will spiral you up to the next orbit.

Nothing worthwhile or significant can be achieved without passion…..

You can write to me, if you have any doubts or would like to discuss nuances of passion. I will be more than happy to connect and discuss