Emotional Resilience

 Long back (maybe 15 years) I watched a motivational video and read an article about a high impact accident and how the survivor reconstructed his life in the face of the worst disaster. Video and the story are etched in my mind so deeply, even after so many years i am able to vividly recall every incident and many times it flashes through my mind.

A family met with an accident and 4 out of five members succumbed to injuries and dies on the spot. The man who survived had around 15 fractures, you  name the bone it was cracked, his spinal cord was badly damaged, the face was completely destroyed, disfigured, it took neurosurgeon, orthopedics and physiotherapist and cosmetic surgeon to reconstruct and repair his damaged body and keep him alive. When he regained his consciousness, doctors explained to him how badly he was hurt and told him that chances of complete recovery are bleak and he may not be able to walk again and he may have to survive in a wheelchair with many imperfections/ handicap. On hearing this he was devastated and emotionally collapsed.

He had lost all hopes and resigned to fate, he was worried about the future life. As he was depressed and given in to despair and not so optimistic, his rehabilitation process was getting very slow and painful. As Divine Wills, one fine day, he hears the inner voice whispering in his head to fight back and conquer the pain and fear, which was the defining moment; he decides to take charge of the life. He resolutely fights with intense emotion and solid WILL power. His routine for the next 6 to 8 months during rehabilitation was excruciatingly painful, and he overcomes all that through his indomitable spirit.

Tears flow down the cheek and you will be swelled with emotion when you watch them struggle and the excruciating pain he goes through in the process of recovery. it almost took 12 to 14 months of struggle to get back to the normal state.

Something strong inside of us that constantly keep reminding about our strength and potential and propel us to move forward from deep despair of hopelessness to hopefulness, and Emotional resilience, a profound character, every person has the inherent potential and the ability to bounce back.  

The above story is one of the rare cases, not all go through intense trauma like this.

However, the challenging times we go through creates a lot of stress and drain our energies, in such a situation, trying to be resilient and to bounce back seems to be an uphill task. We shall see below a few tips to overcome the challenge.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as, “The process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors”

There are different attributes to resilience and it varies from person to person and there are many ways to bounce back from adversities. I have picked up  5 major attributes. The above diagram illustrates the attributes of resilience.(courtesy: Google images)

However, there are many more attributes a resilient person exhibits; we will see some of them.

Positive: Change is inevitable, we tend to react to change than accepting and adapting to it, we should stop bemoaning and shun the past glory/ trauma, understand where our talent lies and moves out of self-limiting beliefs.

Locus of control: How you believe yourself can control the outcome. People with Locus of control (Internal) take responsibility for their lives and believe that it’s their action that leads to the outcome. They have strong faith in themselves.

Face your fears:  face your fears and you get more strength, the perspective about the problem changes and you will find a different dimension to life.

Practice spirituality: Faith in spiritual practices, irrespective of the religion keeps you afloat during the times of difficulty, a catalyst to bring change fast, helps to cope up with stress, and pushes you forward to find solutions.

Get Social support: it’s essential to talk to people who have gone through challenging events and get tips from them. Connect socially and interact with more people. Counselor is also helpful psychologically instill confidence and soothes your mind.

The answer lies not only in the development of resilience in its many forms, but in our personal narratives, or the stories we tell ourselves. Each of these concepts has a tremendous impact on the shape our lives take, and what differentiates those who bounce back from those who never fully recover.