6 Easy ways to deal with changes in life:

6 easy ways to deal with change and stay happy without Stress and Anxiety 

 

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be the reality. Let things flow naturally in whatever way they like.”- Lao Tzu

Change is inevitable and it’s the law of nature. Everything in life is continuously changing-  it may be the seasons, the economy, the politics, your friends, family, society, relationships, and the physical body.

 We experience change in every walk of life, human nature is such, we accept happily if the change is in alignment with our desire or resist if it doesn't meet our expectations. When you resist you develop stress and anxiety.

“Change” is an important subject, reams of books and articles have been written about it. “Change Management” is a hot topic in management circles, periodically managers are trained and retrained to manage change with minimal impact on productivity.

“Cultural change” is very important for societal health and it is a very hard process. If society has to evolve and become more civilized, it needs to undergo many transformations by refining and adapting the old practices to new ways of thinking. Given the fact that some people are reluctant to change,  understandably it is a herculean task to educate them to shed the unwanted cultural practices that are not relevant to present times.  Transition to the new mindset and new practices takes years or decades of hard work, as people are psychologically fixated on doing things in a certain way, and hence educating them to realize the bad implications takes a very long time.

Many times mere educating doesn’t work, We need to enforce change through legal reforms. It’s incumbent on govt to bring in necessary acts. A good example is the way Raja Ram Mohan Roy worked for banning SATI practice.

The crux to deal with change is to have the willingness to adapt to a new situation, however, there is always an inherent resistance in us for change. 

Let's examine Change and how to deal with it.

Broadly we experience two types of change.

1) Changes  that you want to initiate(personal change)

2) Changes that are imposed on you.

                               

Changes that you want to bring in life;

The changes you want to see or bring in your life are mostly a personal one. The examples below indicate the changes you wish to have.

1) You are stuck in a dead-end job and want to change the job and progress in your career.

2) You have difficulty in managing emotions, and that’s spoiling your relations. So you intend to bring in greater emotional stability, so that you can have a better family relationship.

3) You would like to have a better financial status. You change your spendthrift habit to a careful and calculated spender, also you will try to increase your ability to earn more by taking up a  part-time job.

4) You want to be in better health and burn that extra flab around your waist. You work on changing diet and routine by increasing activities.

We embrace the change wholeheartedly if the desired change comes true.

However, many times the change we desire may not materialize, instead, we may get something just opposite of it, then we start cribbing and show a great reluctance.  

When a change is not in our favor we step back and resist. We must understand the reality doesn’t change,  we cannot fight reality forever. Sooner we accept, sooner we get back to the flow and gain peace of mind.

However, apart from personal change, some people want to bring in changes in society through reforms or by philanthropic acts,  It is a selfless act which helps humanity at large.

Changes that are imposed on us:

Some changes in life catch you off guard, and you get bewildered by the sudden jolts of change,  Examples;  Natural calamities like earthquakes, pandemics, tsunami, and fire. Others like accidents and blunders.

Similarly, an unexpected turn of events can lead to a  pleasant change,  it excites and makes us happy,  as the unexpected turn of events(a pleasant change) falls in line with our desire.

Example;  Winning a lottery, a surprise promotion, a beautiful, expensive costly gift by someone you love, a good profit despite business odds. Smoothening of strained relations, return of estranged love..etc  you will be in cloud nine and feel the luck has landed on your lap.

 Many times we are not so lucky to get pleasant results. We face huge challenges when sudden jolts of change push us off the ground.

I heard this story when I was a kid. The story is about a sprinter who had dreams of becoming a national champion. He was a great sprinter, hard-working, and smart sports person. He had won many accolades at the state level and he was preparing to enter the national arena.

On a fatal day, he was walking back home on the pavement after the evening practice session, a speeding car lost control and rammed him from behind. The impact was very bad he was thrown up in the air and fell a few meters away unconscious.

When he regained consciousness, he was shocked to see one of his legs amputated due to severe damage.  He was shocked, wept inconsolably …..cried aloud and shouted,…after some time he calmed down and reconciled  ………His dream got shattered, he had to live with one leg……..life changed forever.

Another incident; Lovers got married after a long courtship, it was a dream come true for them. Their love story was like a  fairy tale, everything was hunky-dory. She conceived and happiness knew no bounds family did a very grand baby shower function, the whole family was excited about the child’s arrival. Unfortunately, She gave birth to a spastic child. They were shocked, and couldn’t believe this  could happen to them….dark clouds shrouded their minds ….and life changed forever.

We have heard and seen many such stories where life has turned 360-degree either for better or for worse.

Below i have given  6 way of dealing change with ease without getting in to  anxiety and stress  

Developing the subtle art of managing change without resistance is very important.

Resisting change is resisting reality, instead of going against the truth, try to befriend the fact of life.

1)  Be open and flexible for change;

 Being flexible and open to change gives us an ability to develop a new perspective, and naturally, you get clarity of mind,  clarity enables us to accept the change without resistance.

Example: When you are transferred to a new project.  

The immediate response is NO, we quickly start contemplating on  Pro’s and Con’s, more so on Con’s.  Our antennas go up and catch the wrong signals, We become defensive and stressful and shut our minds. If we accept with an open mind keeping aside the overthinking mind or anxiety,  in all probabilities, we will recognize the inherent opportunities for growth and learning.

2) Analyze the reason for resistance:

Resistance stems from fear of the unknown, it may be due to wrong influence by friends, colleagues, parents, and society, and also due to faulty belief systems. So learn to analyze deeply and take a prudent decision.

Let’s continue with the above example:  Little analysis indicates the  reason for your fear is due to   moving out of the comfort zone, it can also be working with the new boss and colleagues, fear losing the skills that you have mastered.

If you further break down every reason and analyze, you will come to know the reality is not as threatening as you made out in your mind.

Ex:  fear of moving out of comfort zone:  It is not possible to be in the comfort zone forever however, the same zone can become a battleground after a while. That’s the reality. So take a  wise step to accept the change and move on.

3) Stop Judging;

Don’t judge the situation through the lens of your experience. Try to be cautious, but don’t be obsessed.  You don’t need to go through the same experience again as situations are dynamic. So take a fresh look and come out of your prejudices.  You never know, change may spiral you into higher orbits.

4) Learn to let go;

Life doesn’t happen the way we expect or hope for. Holding onto the desire stubbornly is futile to change reality. Learn to let go and embrace change wholeheartedly. You may have to compromise a bit initially, but it is worth taking an action than remaining in the state limbo.

5) Talk to your close people;

When confusion clouds your mind, and you are unable to cope with change and take the decision, Seek help from your trusted people;  they may be your friends, spouse, colleagues, father, mother, brother, or sisters. They can dole out a sensible suggestions and help you resolve the issues.

6) Mindfulness Meditation;

Start practicing mindfulness mediation, initially go for guided meditation later you can do on your own. Mindfulness helps in calming your mind and gives good clarity in the thought process.

Mindfulness brings down stress and anxiety level to a great extent and helps you to cope with the change easily and transitions to new Change will be normal and happy. 

Let’s change for better…..