Train your mind to be optimistic in tough times

6 ways to become optimistic and lead a successful and healthy life.

 

Human beings are optimistic by nature. It’s a positive trait that holds our faith intact and gives us the inner strength to fight life’s battle, no matter how bad or worse the situation be.

The very word optimism energizes and stokes us with positive emotions, and nudges us with strength and courage to move in the right direction, springs new hope in our heart in anticipation of a bright & better tomorrow, enables you to cast off the negative and naysaying mind prods you to look for an oasis in the desert.

What is Optimism;

Metaphorically optimism is seeing a glass as Half-empty or Half-full. An optimist is a person who focuses on opportunities in adverse situations and will not discount or ignore the obstacles.

Optimism is positive psychology, you will have a positive orientation towards life. We are optimistic about career, relationship, financial well-being..and many more.

We are  hooked to life despite the trouble  because of our positive outlook, we expect the situation to turn around and look  good someday in the future, this is what keeps us going the “optimism”

Let me share interesting stories on optimism

 A big shoe company decided to set up a sales showroom in one of the towns, so they sent two marketing experts to find out the potential and set up the unit.

After a few days of marketing research one of the experts concluded by saying “ Don’t waste time, nobody wears the shoes in this town”

Another expert not aware of the first, one’s  findings write a mail to the company “ Congrats, please send the material fast, we have a huge potential as no one wears shoes in this town”

Same people different views,  one is pessimistic and another is optimistic, and the latter sees an opportunity in every situation and looks for a positive outcome.

Just on the humor side of optimism…..Two friends went to a barbershop, one had hair and another was bald except for a few strands of hair. ……On seeing the bald guy the barber was puzzled, asked how could he help…the bald friend asked the barber to colour his hair…….. he was optimistic he would look good!

Carl Lewis…called dearly by Americans as Carl the King….a great athlete, a dominant sprinter, and a long jumper won 9 Olympic gold medals, one silver Olympic medals, and 10 world championship medals. He is known for his tenacity, courage, and strength…he had to face many challenges including severe injuries that had crippled him, but. optimistic nature kept him going and he achieved an unparalleled feat, which would be remembered for generations to come.

 

Why optimism is important;

 By being optimistic you can improve your physical and psychological well-being, Surprisingly many diseases are cured by being optimistic and not letting the negativity take over.

 You feel rejuvenated and energized, and active, you remain emotionally stable and grounded in reality.

History is replete with people who by sheer optimism and determination achieved unimaginable success and glory. It may be winning a war or building an empire, It could be a  scientific invention, or bringing social changes.

All these people struggled hard and faced terrible situations, but they had one thing in common, they were optimistic and undeterred by the hardship. They were self-motivated worked relentlessly in anticipation of their endeavor coming to fruition.

What constitutes optimism:

Optimism is a trait, all of us have to some degree. When placed in a certain bad situation, we don’t get deterred, we face boldly and beam a positive outlook and think of it as a temporary setback.

 Some people succumb to pressure and become a pessimist and start brooding If the period of uncertainty stretches a little longer time. They don't have the mental strength and courage to endure and move forward.

What amazes is the tenacity and the courage of optimistic folks, despite having to put up with the prolonged period of uncertainty. There are a few strong individuals who fight the battle till the end, they don’t succumb to temporary pressures and accept defeat. They are profound in their thought process and they are aware of every pitfall and don’t get discouraged even in the worst-case scenario.

 

Optimistic VS Realistic.

It’s good to be optimistic, but we need to be aware of the reality also. Due to over-optimism, we tend to ignore reality. 24/7 you can’t be seeing the rainbows, there are dark clouds and showers. We must be prepared and be aware of the unfavorable situations which can contribute to defeating the purpose.

Ex: in gambling people keep increasing the stakes in anticipating a win even when they are losing continuously.. you must know when to accept reality and learn to pull yourself out. Very rarely people make money in gambling unless you are a manipulator.

Ex:  You have to be realistic in business, understanding business nuances in the face of reality gives you an edge over others and propel to accelerate growth. Being optimistic serves to stay in the middle of tough competition.

You must know when to invest and when to stop and should you bootstrap or go to venture capitalist.

 Optimism brings resilience;

Optimism leads to resilience, it gives the inner strength to bounce back from trauma ( emotional or physical) and gain normalcy. Resilient people are optimistic from the core, the very essence is drawn from this trait or attribute. 

Ex: People who have met with an accident with multiple injuries can bounce back solely because of an optimistic outlook and resilient nature.

  It is not easy to be optimistic in the midst of negativities and adverse situations. One needs to have a good determination, a positive frame of mind, and trust. Being optimistic gives you an immense benefit, we shall discuss in the latter part.

Why are we not optimistic;

There are many reasons for not being optimistic. The below points for me seems a major contributing factor.

1. It may be due to bad past experiences and repeated failures.

2.  It may be in belief systems

3. Lack of self-confidence

4. Being in the company of pessimists, you get rubbed on with the same energy.

5. Depression and other organic causes.

 

  
How to be optimistic;

Optimism is an essential trait that makes you successful. According to a few studies, it’s the gateway to health and a socially fulfilling life.

Psychologists have recommended many methods to develop the attribute of Optimism. I have taken a few points below, it is also my experience if followed faithfully impacts life positively.

      1. Don’t let the past failures to bog you down;

When the past failures stalk you, don’t fret and fume, please be calm and analyze the situation and find the cause for failures. When you know the Why’s the How becomes easy and the opportunity emerges from the shadows. Be tenacious in your search for Why’s …..after that everything falls in place.

“When life hands you lemons, make lemonade”

2.  Reflect;

It’s time to take stock of your behavior, go deep inside to reflect. By doing so, you will come to know your flaws and help you to take corrective action. Reflect on the lessons learned from failures and the opportunities presented to you.

 

       3. Be with positive people;

Surround yourself with positive thinking people, you will get that energy and motivation.

     

       4. Believe;

Believe in your potential and believe that anything can change, nothing is permanent and everything is subject to change……When you believe your potential expands and you are set to achieve the impossible. Also, change your belief system from lackness to abundance.

 

     5. Focus;

Stay focused on your goals and never take your eyes off, whatever may be the circumstances. Intense focus allows you to gain the confidence to resolve any issues or problems. Naturally, you become optimistic

 

     6. Be accountable;

Take charge of your life and never be a victim of circumstances. Never find excuses or blame others for the failures.

 

Friends….. Life is not easy, don’t expect it to be easy, the very way life designed is to go through these moments of imperfections and learning from it.

 Adversities are part of life, some people have to endure for a longer period.….it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be struggling, it’s ok to feel bad and crib…it’s ok to tell your friends that you have failed……but it’s not ok to give up and stop trying… you never know tomorrow can be a turning point and your life can flip for the better.

Nothing is easy in life…There is always a struggle, be optimistic everything will change for the better.

7 Practical ways to over come Indecisiveness

 

7 easy ways to deal with Indecisiveness and lead a successful life

                                              

               

 

Should i order masala dosa or plain dosa…shall i go to my office by bike or car, should i wear salwar or saree… can i talk to her or not …..we juggle between the choices and remain indecisive.

I am reminded of Shakespeare’s Hamlet “the indecisive protagonist” who wavers between two extremes “To be or not to be” The dilemma and the emotional trauma he goes through to make a decision represents our sufferings in day to day life.

Definition of Indecisiveness;

Indecisiveness is defined as being in a state of confusion or dilemma to take the right decision. The situation is like sitting on the fence; don’t know which side to jump.

How indecisiveness is formed;

Being indecisive is common, often in life, we go through this phase. Some are mundane ( like what to eat for dinner and should we watch the movie…) and a few are serious. ( Like choosing the carrier, marriage….building business) When we are faced with an ambiguous situation we tend to become indecisive.

The  habit of indecisiveness is well entrenched from young days in our minds. For kids, parents make the decision and when they grow up and become adolescents, many of them remain indecisive because of too many choices and lack of knowledge to differentiate.

This habit continues to hog them even as adults and for some a whole lifetime, they are habituated not taking decisions owing to overprotective parents, sloppy nature, or previous bad experience of a decision gone wrong. They remain fearful and always live in dilemma.

They get stressed up even to make the simplest decision like selecting a menu or wearing a dress for a special occasion. Some people can't even decide what they want for dinner.

How indecisiveness affects life;

It saddens, to see people remain indecisive even in the face of threat. I remember a story from a real incident.

It was a bad marriage and her husband was abusive, every day she was harassed and tortured.

He used to beat her and hurt her badly for no reason. She silently suffered harassments thinking it as her fate and did not confide with anyone, including her parents and her best friend.

This went on for some time and reached a point where she couldn't take it anymore. She cried silently and asked  God “ Why me”   What have I done…but got no answer.

After some time she conceived and delivered a baby girl. This triggered her inlaw's anger that she gave birth to a girl child, and the whole gang began to torture her.

As she was fed up with life, and one fine day she disclosed everything to her close friend. Her friend advised her to move out of the marriage and lead a peaceful life. The lady was reluctant to sever the marriage tie because she thought it was against our tradition an act of sin and she would be cursed by GOD.

It was a herculean task to convince her to move out of the marriage and start life afresh. At last, she made the decision and moved out of the marriage.

 

The moral:  Unless we come out of our wrong beliefs and understand what is right or wrong, we remain indecisive and face great harassment and torture.

Why are we indecisive;

People get stressed and remain indecisive for several reasons and it is a direct consequence of their upbringing, the faith they hold, the fear they face, the  confidence they lack, the self-esteem they need, and the lack of freedom from the past they struggle against.

All of us have grappled with the problem of Indecisiveness, you need to identify and take the corrective action..that differentiates who you are. We keep encountering many such problems in life…. The wise dig for the reasons and work out solutions.

Indecisiveness is not a pathological condition ( extreme cases) more dependent on upbringing and the experience in life. Let's see the reason  why it is hard for us to decide .

 7 common reasons for indecisiveness and the tips to overcome;

1) Lack of information: People may need more information before they decide. Some guys are impulsive and decide spontaneously, but the thoughtful, they need proper data and thorough information.

 

 2) Over-analyzing:  Some people spend too much time thinking and get into a logical spiral of “if’s and but’s” and end up over-analyzing, This leads to confusion and hence finds it difficult to decide.

 Excess of analysis leads to paralysis. You are always in hypothetical mode and think of the worst-case scenario. You are more worried about the future than the current situation.

 Sometimes, by over-analyzing a simple situation, we turn that into a complicated and a nightmare one.

 Ex: Boss or one of your colleagues had forgotten to interact with you, maybe he had a bad day. But we start overanalyzing and start mental diarrheas of nonsense thoughts crossing our minds and creates more anxiety.

 It is very important to move forward than getting stagnated and rot in the same position because of your over-analyzing tendency.

 

  3) Your upbringing: Overprotective and critical parents are the major cause of kids' indecisiveness.  They keep telling “ you don’t know”  “you are not a grown-up”  all these things add to the problem and bring down self-confidence.

 

When kids are empowered to decide on their own, by giving choices, what they want to wear and eat, this builds confidence in them. Later in life, it helps them decide fast. Parents and teachers play a big role in this.

 

 4) Fear of failure;  Fear of failure renders you indecisive, it may be due to some bad experience in the past and your experimenting could have gone wrong.

 Way out: You have to change your perspective. It is imperative that not all decisions go 100% right and you are not a fortune-teller. After all, life is all about the decision,  whether good or bad.

In business, you need to take a calculated risk and decide on the course of action...It may be an investment, a new partnership, technology adaptation, or  introduction of a new line of products ..many more.

   5) Conscious of others' opinion:  Never decide to please someone. You need to decide what is right for you and in the long term how it will benefit you.

While selecting the career you have to decide based on your competencies and potential to grow, not to please anyone. Also, it is prudent to have information about the scope of the job & the growth prospects. This info gives you a fair idea and enables your decision.

  6)  Lack of confidence in oneself: lack of confidence in making the decision is due to a lack of knowledge and skills. Some take it casually and think it as easy as flipping a coin and leave it for the chance. There are crucial decisions to be made carefully with all the right inputs in place.

However many talented people have faced a lack of confidence and bounced back with the right knowledge and skill. 

7) Procrastination;  This can be due to lack of information and knowledge. Many times we also procrastinate in anticipation of better things to come. However, if you stay in a prolonged period of indecisiveness due procrastination it will affect your growth and performance.

People are bad at managing time and often end up piling more work than they could do. 

You can overcome by scheduling them in an organized manner, work on the difficult task first, and pick the easy and gratifying part later.

 Press the throttle and start, you can’t expect to be perfect from the word GO…imperfection leads to perfection…take one step, it doesn’t matter how small it is,  but deciding to move from the status quo is very important

To conclude;

Indecisiveness is a common problem and we face in every stage of life, even the most talented people have faced it. Indecision truly holds back your potential, don’t sulk in doubt move forward with all knowledge and decide. Life awaits for those who are brave

  

“A person’s greatest limitations are not genetic, but imposed by self-doubt, insecurities, indecision, and timidity---Kilroy J .Oldster